Six months of non-stop training is sure to teach you a lesson or two – not just in what you’re attempting to do, but about yourself, your journey, who you are and everything in between. I’ve said over and over this is quite the emotional journey for me and I’ve shared numerous times that I was once really fat. And while I’m still emotional, I’m no longer fat. My thighs still rub, the scale is still pretty high, I haven’t inched from my size 14 jeans and I can still truffle shuffle. But at the end of the day, running has changed me, running has taught me, running has formed me. The aforementioned transformation has never been more prevalent than it has throughout this journey.

Things I’ve noticed or learned bout myself while training for a marathon:

• I talk about running… a lot.
• The thought of a marathon makes me want to pee my pants.
• I half-doubt, half-know I can do this.
• I buy a lot of things when I have a goal in mind. New running pants, GU packets, Naan hydration tabs, new running belt, new music, new water bottles. All things I think I need, but really, shopping is a nervous tick for me.
• I have come a really, really, really long way. I always introduce my running story as “I played soccer for eight years as a goalie because I hated running.”
• Can’t stop, won’t stop.
• I actually do like running with friends – but only on long runs and only ones that will still let me put my headphones in.
• Eight miles isn’t that far for me anymore.
• A 10K is my new running average.
• My body is done losing weight, and I’m okay with that. Look at all that muscle!
• I can lift heavy weights, do hanging leg lifts and use the drop back bench.
• You CAN chafe on your back, and your side, and crack, and well, everywhere else.
• I like listening to Podcasts on long runs.
• If I want to run faster, run through the ghetto.
• I can run 18 miles then go to Wine Walk after.
• Motivating a fellow runner, who may be a stranger, is a lot of fun.
• That I have incredible surroundings – not just in where I run, but who runs with me through body or spirit.
• I love eating toast with peanut butter before a run – no matter the distance
• I refuse to drink the night before a run – even if it will calm my nerves. Now, after the fact…
• Sometimes, thinking about a huge stack of pancakes is all it takes to get me to the finish line.
• I hate chocolate energy gels, which is weird because I don’t hate chocolate anything. I am woman.
• If you dance your way to the finish line, it still counts.
• I’m not fast, but I can go far.

Most importantly, I’ve learned how incredibly proud I am of my body and my mind. How comfortable I certainly am in my own skin. How there is no ideal “runner’s body” just an ideal runner. I mean it when I say that my eyes start to water every time I picture myself crossing that finish line. Not just because I’m going to get a swanky medal that says I did it, but because this body, this body that has come so far, from a place where with the mind alike it was so dark, because this person, this me, did it. I did what was once unthinkable.

In 33 days, this will all be final, all be real. In 33 days, I’ll have learned the greatest lesson of all: that I AM a Marathoner.